Surviving the Unimaginable: A Journey Through Grief and Trauma

Surviving the Unimaginable: A Journey Through Grief and Trauma

My Journey of Surrender, Prayer, and Finding Hope Losing a child is something no one can prepare for. It’s a pain that’s beyond words, and it changes you in ways you never imagined.

My world stopped the day I lost my child, and nothing has been the same since.

This isn’t about "healing" or moving on. It’s about survival, about learning to live in a world that feels foreign and cruel.

Let’s be real: this hurts more than anything I’ve ever experienced. Some days, it feels impossible to breathe, to get out of bed, to face the day. And you know what? That’s okay. I’ve learned that it’s okay to feel the full weight of this grief. It’s okay to cry, to scream, to feel lost. For a long time, I tried to push the pain away, to pretend I was okay. But that wasn’t real. The pain is real, and it deserves to be acknowledged.

Prayer has been my lifeline. Not the kind of prayer where you ask for things, but the kind where you just sit in the silence and let yourself be. Sometimes, all I could do was sit there, feeling empty and lost, but somehow, that was enough. In those quiet moments, I found a tiny bit of peace, just enough to get through the next hour, the next day. Prayer didn’t take the pain away, but it gave me a way to survive it.

I’ll never be the person I was before. That life is gone. But I’ve learned that doesn’t mean my life is over. Slowly, I’ve started to rebuild, to find new meaning in the midst of this pain. It’s not about "moving on"—I hate that phrase. It’s about moving forward, carrying my grief with me as part of who I am now. I’ve found purpose in sharing my story, in connecting with others who are going through this same hell, and offering the support I wish I had.

If you’re reading this, you’re probably on this journey too. Maybe you’re in those early days, where everything is a blur of pain and confusion. Maybe you’ve been walking this road for a while, but the pain is still fresh. Wherever you are, I want you to know that you’re not alone. There’s no right way to grieve, no timeline you have to follow. Just take it one day at a time, one breath at a time. It’s okay to not be okay.

I don’t have all the answers—I’m still figuring this out myself. But I do know that we can survive this. We can find a way to live again, to find moments of peace, even joy, amidst the pain. We can carry the love for our children with us, letting it guide us as we reshape our lives. We’re in this together, and together, we can find a way through.

You do not have to walk your dark days alone.

You can find JOI in the Brokenness. True JOI starts with I not why!

With the biggest hug ever,

Julie